Should I Move Out Before Filing for Divorce in NC?

Divorce is already complicated. However, deciding whether to move out before filing makes things even trickier. In North Carolina, leaving the marital home can have serious legal and financial consequences, especially when it comes to property division, custody, and alimony. Before you pack your bags, here’s what you need to know.

The legal impact of moving out

North Carolina is a no-fault divorce state, which means that you don’t have to prove wrongdoing to get divorced. However, the state does require a separation period of a year and a day before you can officially file. That means one of you has to move out before the clock starts ticking. But there’s a catch: who moves out first can affect some important aspects of your divorce.

Pros of moving out before filing

Sometimes, leaving is the best option. If any of these reasons sound familiar, it might be worth moving out regardless of the complications. Here’s why:

• Reduces conflict – If you and your spouse can’t be in the same room without arguing, living separately can make negotiations easier. Constant arguing and stress only make the situation worse. Moving out may give you the distance necessary to cool down those emotions and help you move forward more calmly.
• Creates a stable environment for kids – If your home is full of tension, moving out may be the best way to shield your children from stress. While it used to be thought that kids could “roll with the punches,” new research shows that divorce can affect everything from their grades to whether they’ll turn to drugs and alcohol.
• Jumpstarts the separation period– Since North Carolina requires a full year of separation before filing, moving out gets the process started. The sooner you get that process going, the sooner you’ll be able to extricate your life from your former spouse’s, and that’s usually a good thing.
• Prioritizes safety– If there’s a history of domestic violence or emotional abuse, moving out can be a necessary step to protect yourself and your children. You may also need to take additional steps, like obtaining a restraining order (either an ex parte temporary protective order or a final domestic violence protective order, called a 50B or DVPO).

Cons of moving out before filing

However, remember that moving out isn’t always the smartest move, especially when it comes to your legal rights. Here’s how it can affect your divorce, as well as your life afterward:

• It can impact property division– North Carolina follows equitable distribution laws, which means assets are divided fairly (but not always equally). If you leave, your spouse might claim more rights to the home simply because they stayed.
• You could weaken your custody case– If you have kids, moving out could make it harder to get primary custody. The court may see your spouse as the “primary caretaker” if they remain in the home with the children.
• You may still have to pay for the home– Moving out doesn’t free you from financial responsibilities. If your name is on the lease or mortgage, you could still be responsible for payments while also covering the cost of your new place. That could affect where you can live or even if you can afford to move out in the first place.
• It might affect alimony– If you’re the higher-earning spouse and you move out, your spouse might claim financial hardship and request post-separation support (temporary alimony).

When should you move out?

While there are both pros and cons to being the spouse who moves out, there are some situations where moving out is definitely the right call:

• There’s abuse– Your safety (and your kids’ safety) comes first. Get out and seek legal protection immediately. Don’t limit your decision to physical abuse. Mental and emotional abuse can also make your living situation dangerous.
• It’s a toxic environment– Sometimes, the stress and hostility of staying put just aren’t worth it. Constant arguing, verbal abuse, narcissistic attitudes, and other factors can make the environment toxic and damaging to you and your children.
• You and your spouse agree on terms– If you both have a plan for property, finances, and custody, moving out can be a smoother transition. This does require that you work together amicably to decide who gets what, but it can go a long way toward a peaceful divorce and a ruling that benefits everyone involved.

When should you stay?

Not convinced that moving out is the right decision? Holding your ground in the marital home may be the better option if:

• You want to keep the house– Leaving could weaken your claim in property negotiations.
• You’re fighting for custody– Staying with your children strengthens your case for custody.
• You can tolerate cohabitation– If you and your spouse can live civilly under the same roof, staying put might give you a strategic advantage.

Protecting yourself if you move out

If you do decide to move out, take these steps to protect yourself:

• Get a legal agreement in writing– A separation agreement can outline financial responsibilities, custody arrangements, and property use.
• Document everything– Keep records of your contributions to household expenses and parenting duties.
• Maintain access to important documents– Make copies of financial statements, property deeds, and insurance policies before leaving.
• Consult a divorce attorney– A North Carolina divorce lawyer can help you navigate your specific situation and avoid costly mistakes.

Final thoughts

Moving out before filing for divorce in North Carolina isn’t a decision to be taken lightly. It can impact everything from custody to finances, so weigh your options carefully. If you’re unsure about what’s best, consult an experienced divorce attorney at Epperson Law Group to protect your rights and plan your next steps wisely.