Negotiating Alimony During Your Divorce
During a divorce, if you believe that you and your ex-spouse can remain cordial and work together without any huge disagreements, you may be able to pursue divorce mediation. Divorce mediation is a process in which a couple is able to avoid going before a judge and having the judge decide about their divorce agreements, which can save a lot of time and money on legal fees. If you choose this option, you will work with a lawyer to discuss and develop agreements about various topics.
One of the most important topics that may come up is alimony. When this topic arises, many people are under the impression that they must automatically accept a certain amount of alimony, but the truth is that you actually have the option to negotiate the amount that you receive. Below, we will give you six tips on how to successfully negotiate alimony during your divorce.
Ask a Charlotte divorce lawyer how much alimony you should expect to receive
One of the first and most important tips that you should follow when negotiating alimony is to speak with a divorce lawyer who has experience with alimony. Not every divorce case involves alimony, so many attorneys do not have much experience or knowledge surrounding this issue. Therefore, it is critical that you find an experienced Charlotte divorce attorney who can give you advice and guidance on how much alimony you should expect to receive. Your attorney will likely evaluate your situation and circumstances, inform you of your rights, and provide an estimated alimony amount that you may be able to request. This will give you a general idea of the limits that you should try to stick to when negotiating with your ex-spouse.
Gather any documents to support your potential alimony amount
Another important tip is to gather all documents that may be able to support the amount of alimony that you plan to request from your ex-spouse. This will provide a better understanding of you and your ex-spouse’s financial situation, which will help your attorney become aware of how to navigate the alimony negotiations. Some of the documents you may want to gather are tax returns, paychecks or pay stubs, utility bills, mortgages, student loans, credit card debts, checking and saving accounts information, retirement accounts information, health insurance information, and more.
Be flexible and willing to compromise
While you may have an idea about what you want or need regarding alimony, the main goal is to be flexible and willing to compromise. It is crucial that you try not to get too attached to your plans and instead try to work with your ex-spouse to develop an agreement to which you both are willing to agree. This means that if the amount of alimony that your ex-spouse proposes is slightly lower than the amount that you wanted, you may want to discuss with your divorce lawyer about the possibility of agreeing to it. Your lawyer will let you know whether you should try to negotiate higher or take the slightly lower amount that your ex-spouse suggested.
Do not get angry or lash out at your ex-spouse
Going through a divorce is always emotional, stressful, and overwhelming for both parties involved. The reason for this is because the couple is likely grieving their marriage and has a lot of unresolved anger toward one another due to the circumstances involved. However, when negotiating alimony, it is important to remain respectful, open minded, and professional toward your ex-spouse.
While you may still be angry or upset about something they did during the marriage, this is not the time or place for those feelings. Instead, as long as you refrain from lashing out or saying any negative or hurtful comments, you may be able to obtain an alimony amount that you want or need. If you use this time to be mean to your ex-spouse, you will only create more tension, and a judge may need to step in and help you and your ex-spouse decide on the alimony amount.
Concentrate on the future
The marriage is over, which means it’s time to put your energy and concentration into the future. Think about what you hope your future is like once the divorce is finalized. This may require you to create a list of goals with your attorney that you hope or plan to accomplish. These goals can be simple things such as going back to college, re-entering the workforce, taking care of your children’s needs, and more. Instead of trying to get back at your ex-spouse while negotiating alimony, you should concentrate on the future and find a solution that may be able to help you achieve your goals.
Be realistic about the alimony amount you are requesting
Lastly, you should make sure that you are being realistic about the alimony amount you are requesting during negotiations. This means that if your ex-spouse brings home around $60,000 per year, you should not expect them to pay you $45,000 in alimony. This would only give them around $15,000 to live on for the entire year, which is impossible. Therefore, you should instead take the time to think about both you and your ex-spouse’s monthly necessities before requesting a specific alimony amount.
Negotiating alimony can be mentally and emotionally draining. However, if you hire a Charlotte divorce lawyer from Epperson Law Group, you can rest assured knowing that you have a seasoned legal professional by your side when things become tough. Our attorneys help couples through various parts of the divorce process, including alimony negotiations, mediation, parenting plans, child custody, child support, property division, and more. If you are ready to get started, please call our office or submit our contact form to schedule your confidential case review today. Our firm has multiple offices, which can be found in Charlotte, Weddington, Concord, and Boone.
Steven B. Ockerman is a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy and Washington University School of Law. He has practiced law for over 25 years, concentrating on family law matters for over 16 years, and is a Board Certified Specialist in Family Law since 2009.
Find out more about Steven B. Ockerman