Navigating Divorce in Your Golden Years

Divorce in your golden years used to be something that no one heard about. However, in recent years, golden years divorces are on the rise. While divorce can come with its own set of challenges at any age, it is especially hard for those who are 50 years old and up because these couples have centered their whole lives around their marriage and children. It is important to know how to deal with the divorce process in your golden years, as this type of divorce is very difficult to navigate and accept for many.

What is a golden years divorce and why are these types of divorces on the rise?

A golden years divorce, also commonly referred to as a gray divorce, is a divorce between spouses who are 50 years of age or older. These couples may be getting close to retirement, already retired, or empty nesters who have decided to part ways. Many people who are going through a “golden year divorce” or watching their parents or grandparents go through a divorce may be wondering why these types of divorces are on the rise. There are many reasons why golden divorces are on the rise, but these are a few of the most common:

• Couples are placing more importance on their own personal and individual happiness, hopes, dreams, and goals.
• More women are working and have their own money and independence.
• There have been a lot of changes in roles in relationships.
• Couples are realizing that they no longer need to stay together once their children become adults.

What makes a golden years divorce different from divorce at other ages?

Many people would point out the fact that a divorce is a divorce, and they are all difficult, heartbreaking, stressful, and exhausting. Even though this is very true, a golden years divorce has several unique difficulties that other couples typically do not experience.

For example, those going through a gray divorce usually have several decades of life together. This means that they likely have the same set of friends, have several children and grandchildren together, and even have both of their names on everything they own. As a result, most people know these couples as a “strong couple,” which makes it extremely difficult to explain that they are divorcing and will now need to learn how to be single again after many years together.

This can be overwhelming and frightening for many couples, as their entire identity is built around the relationship. They may not know what to do, where to go, what they like and enjoy, or even who they are as separate individuals. The last two, three, or even four decades have been spent as a married couple, raising children, working, sharing financial accounts, and building a life together. Now, they must learn how to be alone and do things separately, which can be both mentally and physically taxing.

The financial effects of a golden years divorce

No matter what age you are, divorce is not cheap. However, the older a couple is when they decide to divorce, the higher the chance of their finances being much more complicated. This is because couples who are older typically own a house, vacation homes, two or more vehicles, and probably even a few retirement accounts. As a result, they are likely paying off mortgages, credit card accounts, vehicle loans, and more. In addition, many older couples find themselves helping out their children. For example, they may have taken out student loans for their child to attend college or co-signed for them to get a vehicle or apartment.

Another big factor that can financially impact older couples who are going through a divorce is the fact that they do not have as much time to make their money back after the divorce. For instance, if they must split their entire savings or retirement accounts in the divorce, they do not have another 40 or 50 years to try to save up this money again. Therefore, if they are approaching retirement or already retired, they may have to make the decision to continue working or return to the workforce to financially get by, which can be completely devastating for many.

Six tips on how to navigate divorce in your golden years

If you or someone you know is having a hard time navigating a divorce in their golden years, here are six tips to help you overcome the obstacles and challenges of this type of divorce:

1. Make an appointment with a therapist or counselor: You may think that you are strong and do not need any professional help. However, the truth is that no one should ever try to go through a divorce on their own without at least expressing and getting their feelings out. Since you can no longer discuss your thoughts with your spouse, you should consider making an appointment with a therapist or counselor who is trained in helping individuals navigate these hard and difficult situations.
2. Get assistance from a financial planner: As mentioned, there are many financial impacts of a gray divorce. Therefore, it is crucial that you begin working with a financial planner as soon as possible. A financial planner will look at your savings, investments, income, bank accounts, real estate, and more. After doing so, they will help you develop a plan and give you an idea of what you might need in order to live a comfortable life after divorce.
3. Consult with a Charlotte divorce lawyer: Even if you and your spouse are on the same page about the divorce, you should still consult with a divorce attorney as soon as possible. This will ensure that your rights are protected in case your spouse changes their mind. In addition, an attorney will also look over everything and make sure it seems fair and accurate for you.
4. Think about changing your lifestyle or getting a job: It is no secret that when couples get divorced, they have to change their lifestyle in order to financially get by. The reason for this is because they are going from a two-person income to only having one income to survive on. As a result, you may need to cut back on certain spending habits and learn how to create a budget. If this is not possible, it may be time to consider getting at least a part-time job.
5. Spend time with your support system: Since divorce can be lonely and depressing, you should make time to spend with your support system. This may be your children, grandchildren, friends, and neighbors. While you may not feel like doing this, it is crucial that you do not spend too much time alone as this will start to take a severe toll on your mental health.
6. Meet new friends and create a life that makes you happy: Lastly, when you are ready, you should begin to think about what makes you happy. You spent decades being with someone and doing things that made you both happy, but now you only need to think about yourself. You should meet new friends, develop new hobbies, chase your dreams, and start having fun again.

At Epperson Law Group, our divorce attorneys know and understand the unique challenges and difficulties that often arise with gray divorces. Therefore, we will gladly sit down with you and discuss a legal plan that is created specifically for you and your divorce. Our team is compassionate, understanding, and empathetic to these types of situations, and we will never steer you wrong on what to do. Please call our office or submit our contact form, and we will schedule your free consultation at one of our office locations in Charlotte, Weddington, Concord, or Boone today.