Beware of These Signs of Parental Alienation

Divorce can be difficult, and sometimes it can get downright hostile between ex-spouses. When children are involved, co-parents should try to keep their differences to themselves, but in some unfortunate instances, these hostilities can boil over and emotionally impact the children. Parental alienation can have a traumatic and devastating affect on the relationship between a parent and a child.

What is parental alienation?

Although some people refer to it as “parental alienation syndrome,” parental alienation is not a mental health disorder. However, it is a recognized term coined by child psychiatrist Dr. Richard A. Gardner in the 1980s, describing the scenario of one parent attempting to turn their child or children against the other parent.

Social Work Today calls parental alienation “a set of strategies that a parent uses to foster a child’s rejection of the other parent. Parental alienation syndrome develops in children who come to hate, fear, and reject the targeted parent as someone unworthy of having a relationship with them.”

Parental alienation can be intentional or unintentional, but either way it is extremely unhealthy for the entire family.

Red flags of parental alienation

Children subjected to parental alienation tend to display some common characteristics and behavior. These include:

• Anger, resentfulness or even hatefulness toward you for seemingly no reason
• Painting you as the “bad guy” while painting the other parent as the “good guy”
• Refusing to explain why they are angry or upset with you
• Repeated refusal to visit during your designated custody time
• Taking the other parent’s “side” during any disputes or arguments

Examples of how a parent can alienate a child include:

• Acting hurt when the child enjoys their time with the other parent
• Asking a child to choose one parent over another when they have no legal choice
• Blaming the other parent in front of the child for breaking up the marriage and family
• Encouraging negative feelings the child has about the other parent
• Sharing negative and private details about the divorce
• Telling a child their other parent doesn’t love or care for them
• Telling a child they aren’t safe with their other parent
• Using the child to spy on the other parent
• Withholding affection when the child spends time with the other parent

All of these behaviors and more, whether conscious or unconscious, can emotionally manipulate a child into thinking a parent is the enemy. Matters involving children must be dealt with carefully – although children are indeed resilient, they are also sensitive and should never be involved in their parents’ personal issues.

If you suspect parental alienation, you should act quickly. The child custody attorneys at Epperson Law Group, PLLC can discuss your situation and work to provide the help you need. Call us in Charlotte, Boone, Concord, or Weddington at 704-321-0031, or visit our contact page, and schedule your consultation.