Posts by Steven B. Ockerman

Maybe it starts on a smaller level. A wife may notice her husband has had too much to drink at a party, and she makes excuses for her husband’s erratic behavior. The next week, the same situation repeats itself. Within six months, the wife becomes accustomed to seeing her husband in a drunken state more…

Not every divorce ends in a contentious battle to the emotional and financial death. For some couples the decision to go their separate ways, at least legally, can be a very difficult decision to make. When you think about a couple weighing the pros and cons to divorcing, you might picture them talking about their…

Many couples, even ones whose divorce is relatively amicable, may have a moment (or ten) where they briefly wonder, How can I get even with my soon-to-be ex-spouse? For some, though, it is more than a passing thought. It becomes a way of life to see how much trouble they can throw into the life…

You are out for drinks with friends or just walking down the block from work to pick up lunch, but you make eye contact, exchange smiles and feel an instant spark with a total stranger. There is just no getting around the fact that the first thing that attracts two people to one another is…

On August 10, an Illinois judge barred Rebecca Firlit from seeing her 11-year-old son because she is not vaccinated against COVID-19. After being met with a barrage of commentary and outcry online, however, Cook County Judge James Shapiro abruptly and with little explanation reversed his order on August 30th. Many experts claim Judge Shapiro greatly…

The name Jennifer Wilbanks may not be recognizable to many people, but we bet her moniker of “The Runaway Bride” is. Wilbanks was given the nickname after she made the decision not to show up at her own wedding in April of 2005. Although she initially claimed to have been kidnapped and sexually assaulted by…

There is nothing better than a high-profile custody case to put things into perspective. Most of us read the headlines of superstars fighting over their children and property and cannot believe what we have just read. The amount of time and money that gets thrown into a contentious case can leave you questioning why it…

There are 20 million single-parent households with kids in the US, and 16 million of those are single mothers. For these parents, trying to gain a financial foothold – especially when they are of the primary residential parent and caregiver of the children – can seem impossible. There has to be a better way. And…

According to researchers from the IRS, Carnegie Mellon University, the London School of Economics, and the University of California Berkeley, high-income tax evasion is on the rise. One recent poll also concluded that 44% of people keep financial secrets from their partners. The reasons vary but typically center around a desire to control finances, shame…

The COVID-19 pandemic shook the entire world in 2020. Even a year later we are all still feeling the effects. As the unemployment rate rose to new highs, the stock market dropped health insurance, and the ability to fund savings suffered drastically. It appears that many may not recover for years to come. All of…

At some point, you have probably heard that 50% of marriage end in divorce. That is not really accurate, because it is averaging first marriage divorce rates with second (or more) marriage divorce rates, which skews the numbers. But there is one divorce statistic that is solid: between 70% and 80% of child marriages –…

If you ask divorced people what led to their marriage ending, you will hear a lot of different answers. Maybe they were poor communicators. Maybe they knew the marriage was a mistake from the start. Maybe they simply drifted away from one another. But the one reason that pops up the most is money. Few…

One of the more common causes of separation and divorce is financial incompatibility. Perhaps one spouse is a spendthrift, and one cannot stop buying. Or, perhaps, one spouse has a serious gambling addiction, and the other did not know until after they were married. Maybe the couple gets into serious debt after some kind of…

Going through a divorce can feel like one of the loneliest, most heartbreaking times in your life. Usually when you hit tough moments, you lean on your friends and family to get you through. For some reason, divorce isn’t always one of those times when all of your friends will rally around you. It can…

Generally speaking, both parties to a divorce want to walk away with as much as they each can. (Rarely will you hear a spouse say “whatever it takes, just end it.”) Usually there is a fight over who contributed more to the marriage financially and what types of contributions count. A spouse who works and…

Going through a divorce is much like working through the death of a loved one where you experience stages akin to the grieving process. Most people do not go from saying “Okay, I’m getting a divorce,” to filing paperwork and starting over without doing a lot of introspection. Whether you are at the beginning, middle…

Divorce is a scary idea for many people. You’ve become used to a certain routine and maybe you even have fears of losing the lifestyle you helped to build and planned to enjoy for the rest of your life. Change is difficult, and there doesn’t seem to be a simple playbook to guide you through…

North Carolina law typically forbids dividing an individual’s inheritance between spouses during divorce. It doesn’t matter if the inheritance is cash, a house, stocks – an inheritance is that person’s separate property. Further, this counts whether the spouse received the bequest before or after the marriage. Although this is the general rule when it comes…

As a father, you have certain rights regarding custody and visitation with your child. Although many people still hold on to the outdated belief that the state always sides with the biological mother of a child, this is no longer true. Both parents have equal rights to their children in the eyes of North Carolina…

First, a request; please don’t use a separation agreement from the internet. “Do-It-Yourself” legal documents, whether posted as templates or as samples by people that mean well, are not problem-solvers. They are problem-causers. We frequently see clients with separation agreements they believed were well-constructed and fit their particular situation, but in reality, the document was…

When you and your spouse divorce, your marital assets and debts will be divided between you. Often, the marital assets of greatest value are retirement plans, including pensions and profit-sharing plans such as 401(k)s. Unfortunately, dividing retirement assets is not usually as simple as transferring money from one account to another, or “cashing out” an…